This is exactly how I felt during & after the conversation I had last night. I haven’t cried like that in a long time. I made the decision to walk away from the person I loved most outside of my family. Why? Because I thought walking away would prevent me from getting hurt. I’ve never been one to give up on love. Was always the one who said I’d rather know & fail than to go on with my life asking “What if?” & not knowing what could’ve been. I can’t believe I gave up all because I was scared. I don’t know where that changed. I guess I’m so scared that someday I might actually get the very thing I’ve wanted for so long, only to lose it. So my solution was to just give up & walk away? Now that I think about it, it makes absolutely no sense. All the times I wanted to give up & walk away, he still had faith in us. He still believes we’re meant for each other. I was more worried about if I was waiting in vain, while on the other hand, he was worried about becoming a better man for ME. He deserves someone better who won’t give up on him. Someone who’ll see the good instead of worrying about the bad & what might happen. I know the girl who will settle down with him will be very lucky & happy. He’s an amazing guy. I guess it was too late when I realized it.
I will always love Tony. I will always care about him. That will NEVER change.